外国最新幽默精粹PDF|Epub|txt|kindle电子书版本网盘下载

外国最新幽默精粹PDF格式电子书版下载

注意：本站所有压缩包均有解压码： 点击下载压缩包解压工具

目录A New，“very”High Tech Computer Virus 　　1

高科技的电脑病毒1

英雄2

The Hero2

一切费用全包在内4

Everything Included4

将军的牙齿6

The General's Teeth6

我没弄错7

I Am Not Wrong7

他懂了！8

He Understood ！8

聪明的翻译9

A Clever Interpreter9

照我的办法去做10

Do as I Do10

诚实11

Honesty11

聪明的仆人12

The Clever Servant12

理解15

Understanding15

The Composition Class15

作文课15

感谢信16

A Thank-you Letter16

Two Pounds Plums16

两磅李子16

婚礼17

Wedding17

我教老师18

I Taught the Teacher18

父与子19

The Father and His Son19

Who Is the Laziest？19

谁最懒？19

心不在焉的教授20

Absent-minded Professor20

The result of a Promise20

许诺的结果20

没什么21

Nothing21

An Announcement21

讣告21

班级、情人和蠢驴　22

Class、Lass and ASS22

给我一块钱　23

Give Me a Dollar　23

Part-time Job　23

业余工作　23

谁的儿子最伟大　24

Whose Son Is the Greatest　24

Friend for Dinner　24

请朋友吃饭　24

丢失的钱包　25

The Lost Purse　25

我们的在哪儿？　26

Where Are Ours?　26

他们终于明白了　27

They Understood at Last　27

To Open the Door　27

开门　27

在电话中交谈　28

他刚去过动物园　28

New Testaments　28

圣经新义　28

He's Just been to the Zoo　28

做什么？　29

I Thought You.Were Out 　29

我以为你出去了　29

What's going to Be?　29

Talking on the Telephone　30

A New Employee　30

新员工　30

蝙蝠的问题　31

Bat Problem　31

一字之差　32

Settle Down and Settle Up 　32

I'll Change my Name　32

我会改一个名字　32

一个苏格兰人和犹太人的笑话　33

A joke about a Scotsman and a Jew　33

15年的判决　34

A Long Sentence 　34

一个数学老师的故事　35

A Math Teacher's Story　35

改短了的裤子　37

The Shortened Trousers　37

打猎的地方　38

A place to hunt　38

海湾战争中一种可能的投降方式？　39

A possible Surrender in the Gulf?　39

一份特殊的保单　40

A Rather Exclusive Warranty　40

A Ransom Note　40

勒索信　40

无风险的赌注　41

A Safe Bet　41

巧妙的说法　42

A Smooth Talker　42

三条腿的鸡！44

A Three Legged Chicken!　44

聪明的孩子　45

A Wise Child　45

写给执行“沙漠风暴”行动的军队的邮件　46

Addressing Mail to Desert Storm Troops　46

一位老人的忏悔　47

An Old man's Confession　47

An Audiophile,She's Not　47

她不是唱片爱好者　47

你耳聋吗？　48

Are you deaf?　48

坏主意　49

Bad Idea　49

设计一个坚固的键盘　50

Built Like a Tank 　50

出人头地　51

Be the Best you can Be　51

桥的故事　52

Bridge Joke　52

交友服务　53

Buss Service 　53

支持国货　54

Buy American 　54

往家里打电话　55

Calling Home　55

人皮独木舟　57

Skin Canoe　57

车型的冰棒　58

Car-sicles　58

连环信　60

Chain Letter　60

Cash vs.Credit 　60

现金与信用卡　60

感觉不同　61

Changes in Perceptions　61

一个妖怪的笑话　62

A Genie Joke　62

绰号　64

A Head for Numbers　64

巧克力冰激凌　65

Chocolate Ice Cream　65

跳崖　66

Cliff Jumping 　66

收“保护费”　67

Collection Plate　67

愚蠢的指挥官　68

Colonel Clinker　68

击中靶心　70

Bull's eye　70

结婚　73

Marriage　73

五彩缤纷　75

Rainbow　75

进步　76

Improvement　76

狐狸和仙鹤　77

The Fox and the Crane　77

交不上朋友的人　78

The Man who had No Friends　78

金色的桥　80

The Golden Bridge　80

国王和渔夫　82

The King and the Fisherman　82

带血的拇指　84

The Bloody Thumb　84

自己准备　85

Prepare Yourself　85

你的一生　86

All your Life　86

The Day off from Work　86

丈夫的休息日 　86

他是大人物吗？　87

Is He Somebody?　87

Three Turtles　87

三只乌龟　87

半个还是十分之五？　88

Half or Five Tenths?　88

Doctor's Orders　88

医生的嘱咐88

一则新式自行车广告　89

An Advertisement for Modern Bicycle　89

“给”还是“拿”　90

"Give"or"Take"　90

两张飞机票　91

Two Plane Tickets　91

没有时间游览　92

No time for Sightseeing　92

汽车上的小偷　93

A Thief on the Bus　93

漂亮的毯子　95

Beautiful Carpet　95

牵错了狗　96

The Dog Was Not Collected 　96

友好的邻居　98

The Friendly Neighbor　98

完美无瑕的珍珠　99

The Perfect Pearl　99

将军和下士101

The General and the Corporal101

系铃于猫103

Belling the Cat103

一直没干完的活儿104

A Never Finished Job104

北方人搬迁到南方的告诫105

Tips for Northerners Moving South105

火车中的插曲109

An Episode in the Train109

概不外借110

Not to Be Taken Out110

圆珠笔111

The Ball-point Pen111

I don't know her111

我还不认识她111

乔治·华盛顿和马112

George Washington and the Horse 　112

歌德的容忍113

Goethe's Tolerance113

承包商114

Contractors114

在军队里宣布去世的消息115

Death in the Army115

“明显”的多种定义116

Definitions of"Obvious"116

交通警察的外交辞令1117

Diplomacy with the PoliceⅠ117

交通警察的外交辞令2118

Diplomacy with the PoliceⅡ118

最高法院里的吸毒者120

Dope in the Supreme Court120

Don't need it now,but maybe Someday!120

现在不需要，终有一天会用到！120

酒鬼的问题解决指南121

Drinker's Fault-Finding Guide　121

喝酒和开车124

Drinking and Driving124

新闻标题125

Newspaper Headlines125

Driver Gets a Stiff Fine125

司机受到严厉的惩罚125

容易被冒犯的老太太126

Easily Offended Old Ladies126

教育和战争127

Education and War127

摘自一本有关加拿大和美国的书128

Excerpt from Book about Canada and the USA128

佛麦特的最后一次飞行129

Fermat's Last Flight129

钓鱼的故事130

Fish Story130

需要认真考虑的问题131

Food for Thought131

找警察133

Finding a Cop133

卵生还是白痴134

Ovulation versus Cretinism134

排队交话费时遇到的老人136

The Old Man in the Phone Line　136

教皇和上校137

The Pope and the Colonel137

三只狗138

The Three Dogs138

他的包不是个小问题139

His Bag is Not a Toy139

教堂里发生的真实的故事140

This Really Happened in Church140

三个男人和一辆汽车141

Three Men and a Car141

两只从动物园逃跑的狮子142

Two Lions Escape from the Zoo　142

Truth in Advertising142

讲真话的广告142

对银行的讽刺144

Banking Quip144

Two to One144

二比一144

统一场论145

Unified Field Theory145

高147

High147

情书148

Valentine Letter148

等到明年150

Wait till Next Year150

阿甘正传后遗症151

After Seeing the Forrest Gump151

谁是最伟大的人153

Who is the Greatest?153

日本人关于工业管理的演讲154

Japanese Lecture on Industrial Management154

关于速度155

About Speed155

“妻子”的账单156

"Wife's"Bill156

Romanians156

罗马尼亚人156

牛仔与他的马157

Cowboy and the Horse157

火车158

Trains158

狮子不吃兔子159

Lion doesn't Eat Rabbit159

禅宗和骑车的艺术161

Zen and the Art of Bicycle Riding161

外语162

Foreign Languages162

怎么讲一个波兰笑话163

How to Tell a Polish Joke163

电视里的世界164

TV Land164

干得不错166

Good Job166

空中摄影169

Aerial Photography169

如果上帝想要的话就拿去170

Keep if the God Wants170

就不承认171

Just Say No171

一张生日卡片上写到的173

Seen on a Birthday Card173

Poor Postman173

可怜的邮差173

苏格兰人喝咖啡的方式174

The Way of Scot Drink Coffee174

Computer Salesmen174

电脑销售员174

Hooks in Water174

水里的钩子174

免费服务175

Free Service175

做好结婚的准备176

On Being Prepared for Marriage176

Who Sent the Flowers?176

谁送的花？176

致女朋友的一封信177

A Letter to a Girlfriend177

全花光了178

Spend All178

买衣服179

Buying a Dress179

通晓法律180

Better Understanding of Law180

A Letter from an Reader180

一封读者来信180

做选择181

Making a Selection181

True Microsoft Story181

微软趣事181

视觉挑战182

Visually Challenged182

A Matter of Perspective182

懒得观察182

友好的纽约183

Friendly New York City183

太晚了184

Too Late184

Bad Idea184

不明智的想法184

没有人看到过圣诞老人的真正原因185

The Real Reason Nobody Ever Sees Santa185

Answer Changes185

答案变了185

卖柠檬汁的孩子186

Kids Selling Lemonade186

突然测验187

The Pop Quiz187

Memorial Day187

阵亡将士纪念日187

钓鱼趣事188

Fish Story188

大选当天189

Election Day189

尽管开口要吧190

Ask,and yet shall Receive190

My Hand is Numb190

我的手麻了190

军队中的礼节191

Manners in the Army191

他们带了几个胎？192

How Many Flats Did They Bring?192

新律师闹笑话193

New Lawyer Jokes193

俄语难学吗？194

Is Russian Hard to Learn?194

销售技巧195

Sales Technique195

一只巨型龟196

A Giant Tortoise196

律师的年龄197

Lawyer's Age197

孤注一掷198

The Last Bet198

橱窗里可展示不了199

Cannot Show in the Window199

是信还是口信200

Letter or Message200

同样的大衣201

The Same Coat201

卖车202

Sell a Car202

预知未来203

Prediction203

没时间聊204

No Time to Talk204

没烟灰缸205

No Ashtray205

半疯206

Half Mad206

卖梯子207

Selling the Ladder207

幸运的家伙208

A Lucky Guy208

复杂的法律209

Complicated Law209

父亲的话210

Father's Order210

不到哭的时候211

It's Not Time to Cry211

死得不是时候212

Die in the Prime Time212

神童213

Genius Boy213

怎样区别男人和女人214

How to Tell Man from Woman214

像年轻时一样强壮215

As Strong as Young215

到底是谁不穿216

Who's Going to be Naked216

一个真实的故事217

A Ture Story217

大五个月的哥哥218

Five Months Elder's Brother218

快速服务219

Quick Service219

地震220

The Earthquake220

两个好友222

Two Friends222

三人游泳223

Three Women Swam223

挨冻的鹦鹉224

Frozen Parrot224

银行家226

Banker226

A Signature226

签名226

凡人与上帝的对话227

Mortal Talks with Cod227

等了太久228

Waiting for so Long228

法庭上的趣事229

Disorder in the Court229

乞丐232

The Bum232

手术费233

Medical Payments233

健康检查234

Health Check234

警告标签235

Warning Label235

Xmas235

圣诞节235

越来越高的价钱236

Tiered Pricing236

Best Revenge236

最好的复仇236

大学各系的感官指导237

Sensual Guide to Departments237

女孩需要怎样的男人238

What a Girl needs in a Man238

司机们239

Drivers239

The Fourth Element239

第四元素239

猫与婴儿240

Cats and Babies240

两只鸟241

Two Birds241

并非指控，只是有些证据242

Not an Accusation,just Evidence242

买船243

Buy a Boat243

盲象摸人244

Classic tale retold244

两个律师间的对话245

A Conversation between Two Lawyers245

How to Get Rid of Unwanted Phone Calls246

一切为你246

Anything for You246

美国车247

American car247

怎样摆脱不想接的电话247

导盲吉娃娃248

Seeing Eye Chihuahua248

记性差249

Memory trouble249

爽快的化妆师250

Snappy dresser250

世界上最大的251

The Biggest in the World251

两次试验的小差别252

A little difierence between two testing252

直接从美国来的253

They Are Directly from America253

I Didn't Notice It253

我没看到它253

成功的关键254

Key to the Success254

A Pledge254

誓约254

家谱255

Family Tree255

You can Tell a Lot about a Man by the Tip he Leaves256

你能从一个男人给的小费看出他是个什么人256

Fishing Safety257

安全垂钓257

Dentist's Last Patient258

牙医的最后一个患者258

True Colors259

伪装色259

Have You ever Seen a Pig Like that?260

你见过像那样的猪吗？260

Vacation Time261

度假时光261

A Professional Debate262

关于职业的争论262

Pass Along263

传过去263

Snake in Class264

课堂上的蛇264

A Wonderful Weekend265

一个美妙的周末265

Choice of Punishments266

对惩罚的选择266

Speech in Japan267

在日本演讲267

Signs of Our Times269

时代的标记269

Why Fish Are Better Than Women274

为什么鱼比女人好274